


Dust

by Civvi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:33:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Civvi/pseuds/Civvi
Summary: Lapis wishes the dust would just cover her.





	Dust

Lapis sat with her knees tucked to her chest. Her chin rested atop them, and she was completely still. A human would breathe. On earth, wind would gently lift her hair, her bow. Here, nothing moved. Lapis wished dust was here. She could imagine it settling on her skin, forming a layer between her and the vacuum around her. It would be a form of testament to her stillness. It would be something to watch. She stared at her feet, picturing dust building slowly on them, turning her the same color as the floor around her. Back home, the lights in the barn would be on, the slow glow of their television set blanketing the room in a gentle blue. It was dark here. 

Lapis considered turning her head towards the window, but decided against it. She could stay here. She didn’t deserve to look at the stars. Besides, they didn’t seem as bight as when she pined atop her tower of water, a broken gem on her back and mirrors in her eyes. She wanted to flick her eyes upwards, look out the door, but kept them trained on her feet. Maybe dust could gather in her eyes. She almost blinked instinctually, trying to force out a foreign substance that would never settle here. Lapis missed the wind. She could almost feel an aching in her chest for it. The way it would shift her dress around her legs, ticking her shins, the way it would throw her hair around every direction but wouldn’t phase Perid-.

Best not to go there. Lapis repressed a shiver. She wasn’t allowed to move. She wouldn’t allow herself. Instead she turned her thoughts once again to dust. She could see it floating in the air sometimes, but it was so light, it never let itself fall back down to the ground. She imagined it floating into the vastness of space and had a sudden irrational urge to try and grab a handful, to keep it here. 

She thought of the sun for the first time in a while. It wasn’t her favorite thing about earth, but a part of her missed its warm rays on her skin, laying on the roof of the barn and watching their garden, where Pe-

No.

Despite her best efforts to focus on the gently floating dust surrounding her, her mind once again wandered. 

She thought of the rain, how it startled her at first, but it was just water, and how Peridot dragged her by the arm, eyes shining as she explained how it worked, as she flailed her arms towards the sky and just enthused about how great some water was. 

Peridot always thought water was better than it was.

Lapis moved. She brought her knees closer, as if she was trying to collapse her own ribcage with their force. She accidentally let out a gasp, her throat unused for days. And water. It drained from her eyes. She brought her legs closer yet. No more air would fit into her artificial lungs. But still she choked on an emotion she couldn’t bring to words. She slapped the water off her face and squinted her eyes defiantly. The world was blurry, seen through a film of weakness of disgusting worthless water. 

Peridot loved the water.

The thing she was choking on came out. A sob. She had seen Pearl have them sometimes.

Finally, Lapis released the pressure on her legs, let them fall to either side as she leaned forwards on them, hands grabbing at her face as she cried. Her shoulders shook. She was all movement now. Water flowed freely, she was all water.

Peridot loved the-

Lapis tipped forwards, her forehead on the ground. She dug her nails into the barn floor. Silent still, no sounds but her shaky breaths and gasping sobs. But then her eyes were open and she saw it.

Water trails on her hands. The clear tracks where droplets had fallen, running down her arms. Clearing the dust. Somehow some had accrued on her skin. Maybe it was from earth, maybe just as it was floating it happened to stick to her, when she first settled down. The reason didn’t matter. 

Peridot loved the water. More than it deserved.

Lapis was motionless once again. Her tears the only movement as they splattered down like rain on her arms. Washing away the dust. Lapis wiped at her eyes, trying to see clearly through the liquid that clouded them.

Lapis drew herself up once more. Face off the floor. Sitting up straight. Standing. She moved, her dress swishing around her knees and stood at the window. Before her lay earth. She placed a single quivering hand on the glass, then drew it back. Dusty. It was on her palm now. She quickly wiped it on her dress. Turned her attention back to earth. The echoes of sobs still in her chest, she drew her arms in. She would see a ship if it came to earth. She would watch. And if occasionally she doused herself in water from her wings, to keep of the dust, no one but her would know. She would watch.

Maybe she deserved to move, at least a little.

Peridot loved the water.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first ever fanfiction, any comments and critique is much appreciated!  
> I don't really write much anymore so this was really spur-of-the-moment kind of this I jotted down in less than an hour and I hope it is satisfactory!


End file.
